Recollections of Grandma
/by Susee Miller
The following are three recollections that remain with me. Grandma related them to me when I was in my early teens. She was living in Richmond with us at the time.
I remember sifting in the den with Grandma when she began to recount a story of her youth. She related it without sentiment or bitterness. I was, therefore, wholly unprepared for the ending which I found startling and disturbing. In retrospect, I imagine that the subsequent hardships of her life had tempered her perspective of her early personal history.
Grandma said that as a young girl she loved a boy from her village. She was forbidden, however, from marrying him because his older brother had married her sister, Esther. She explained that according to custom sisters were not allowed to marry brothers. The last time that she saw him was at an infirmary on the outskirts of the village. The infirmary had been established to quarantine villagers infected with influenza. Grandma related that she had walked to the infirmary, found a ladder and climbed to a second floor window. It was there that she found him; and it was there that she said her last goodbyes to him. She- perched on the top of a ladder professing her love with soft words and delicate signs. He- in bed, weakened by his illness, replying in kind. Grandma said he died soon after.
The brothers' last name was Pritzker.
Grandma would often talk of the beauty of "Mother Russia." Her descriptions were detailed and surprisingly poetic. She would speak with uninhibited emotion. Tears would well up in her eyes. This puzzled me. She had certainly never indicated an appreciation of the nature that surrounded her in America. Could Russia be more beautiful than America? Later, I came to realize that her descriptions of Mother Russia, although accurate, were essentially a nostalgic idealization of the place of her youth.
It was not until reading Nikolai Gogol that I recaptured the sense of "her place" and the scenes of her youth that she had conveyed to me. Of course, Grandma's 'Mother Russia' was officially the Ukraine and Gogol's terrain the same. I have included examples of Gogol's descriptions. They were written approximately 50 years before Grandma's birth.
...right down to the Black Sea, was green virgin wilderness. Never had plow cut through the immense waves of its wild flowers; they were only trampled by the horses who were hidden in them as in the forest. Nothing in nature could be fairer; the whole surface of the earth was an ocean of green and gold, glittering with millions of different flowers. Through the high slender stalks of grass slipped the pale blue, indigo and lilac cornflowers;the yellow broom thrust up its pyramidal crest; the white meadowsweet studded the surface with its umbrella shaped plumes....
Toward nightfall the whole land was completely transformed; all its variegated surface was flooded with the last bright glow of the sun and gradually darkened; so that the shadow could be seen creeping over it and turning it dark green; the odors that arose were richer; every flower, every blade of grass exhaled fragrance, and the whole land was bathed in sweet scent. Over the dark blue sky broad strokes of rosy gold were flung as though by a gigantic brush...
Grandma told me of recurring pogroms in her village. She described one in which she hid on the roof of her house as the Cossacks swept through. Peering down from the roof she watched as a woman's hands being were cut off.
I asked my Mother and Uncle Earl what Grandpa was like. They both said that he was a quiet, reserved man. My Mother said that all she remembers about him is his coming home from work exhausted, sitting at the kitchen table and leaning over, putting his head on his hands and falling asleep.
Also Uncle Earl often told me of the quiet and special times that he spent with Grandpa listening to records of the great Cantor Rosenblatt. He also related going with Grandpa one Shabbat to the Eden Street Shul to hear Rosenblatt sing.
Also the story of his being sent as a teenager to collect rent monies for Grandma.- He leaned over to pick something up off the floor at one of the rental units and burned the back of a brand new coat.
Zel always spoke of my mother's reluctance to do the chores that were assigned her in the house. Mom would pay Zel to do her chores for her.
Mom and Zel would relate that Zel often got drunk at parties. Mom would have to push her up the stairs late at night keeping Zel as quiet as possible so that Grandma would not hear.
Grandma's house was the favorite house for her brothers and sisters to congregate. Mom said that no matter how little food was available for the children it was shared with the guest. Sometimes simply bread and potatoes or diluted soup.
I asked Mom about Grandma Goldie. She described her as diminutive, controlling and domineering. Not a pleasant woman.
Mother also related that she and Zel would often wake up in the mornings to find at the foot of their beds new clothes that Grandma had sewn for them. Grandma despite a full day of caring for 8 children and work had stayed up all night to surprise them with a new blouse, skirt or dress, Mom remembered in particular the 'middie blouses' Grandma make. (They were sailor blouses little girls wore at the time.)
When Grandma lived with us she adored Stevie. He would give her anything she wanted to eat - especially any medically forbidden foods. She knew that all she had to do was call him over and ask him. Grandma slept in a hospital bed in the den. Stevie would crawl into the hospital bed with her and entertain her. If I am not mistaken the night she died she asked him for some sweet and sour cabbage.
Our house was always filled with visitors. Grandma's sense of humor, her wit, and joke/story telling talent endeared her to all the Pecks' friends. She loved practical jokes. (Shelly - Steve dressed Grandma in a hat, had her hold a broom and put a cigar in her mouth. She loved it. I think he has a photo.)
Mom told us that when Grandma would go to the theater she would return home and recreate the entire play for the 8 children. She would sing every song and dance every dance in the play.
Once Grandma was staying with us while Mom and Dad went on vacation. We must have been 6-7 years of age. Mother had left Grandma in charge with a woman named Carrie who lived with us and helped with the house. Both she and Grandma were strong willed women. There were confrontations for several days until one afternoon in the backyard Carrie took a milk bottle and hit Grandma over the head. Grandma related the story to Mom when she had called to check in. Carrie was dismissed that day.